Saturday, February 14, 2009

Poker Face

I am the worst liar, I have the worst poker face. This has generally not been a problem in life, as I try to be nice and tell the truth, and am slightly bored by poker. However, when having kids, you must be able to put on that poker face and discipline them when they do something wrong, that also happens to be hysterically funny. Last night was another example of my inability to do this.

Our lovely neighbor girl brought over a pre-prepared meal from The Dinner Club. It was Chicken with White Wine Sauce. Now I have done the Dinner Club before and the dinners were 50/50 with the kids. When I opened the package to see what's inside - chicken with a probable white wine sauce, swiss cheese, and stuffing mix on top - I was almost 95% certain that the kids would poo-poo it. The frozen mixed veggies on the side - containing the usuals plus cauliflower and yellow carrots - was going to seal the deal. Yet...I pushed forward. Figuring they wouldn't eat it anyway, I pushed the envelope even more by making one of my fave sides, Basmati Rice.

So the dinner starts, as does the skepticism. I try to push the whole "Your neighbor friend made it" which probably enabled them to at least try it. Sister ate a few bites of the chicken, choked down a few mushy pieces of broccoli (why I never make frozen, big fan of fresh) and was decidedly against the rice. Boo loved the rice, but adamantly refused to touch anything else. I told him he needed to try one piece of chicken. I scraped any evidence of sauce, cheese, or stuffing mix off the top and he ate that piece. I then forced another piece on him, which had a small remnant of cheesy sauce on it. He promptly spit it out...on the floor, accompanied my that "ptooey" sound. Now, if I was watching the reality show that Boo should have, I might easily have wet myself. But the mom in me needed to be the hard-ass and yell at the child. I tried with a half-smile on my face, as the hubby just stood there smirking at me. I then did my dramatic, bury my hands in my face as if I am so frustrated, so I can get in a couple giggles before coming up to explain why we don't live in a barn.

Needless to say, I need some work on my poker face.


  1. I would like to be a fly on your wall sometimes.

  2. OMG, I so get this.

    I can't TELL you how often I just laugh out loud at the most stunningly inappropriate stuff Ev does/says. I just canNOT help myself! He's hysterical!

    My child is going to grow up to be a very interesting person. He may be shunned by much of society, but he will NOT be dull!