Dear MOTY Submission Committee,
Please consider the following my submission for the award of Mother of the Year. I realize I have vied for the prize in the past, but I feel that today's actions will secure my place as most deserving of MOTY.
When my eldest child woke up this morning she complained of a stuffy nose and watery eyes. I felt said child's head, it was not particularily hot and consequently gave her some Dimatapp and Motrin (yes, yes, I know, none of these acts qualify one for the award). I then proceeded to instruct child to not complain at school, because they send children home with the slightest of fevers, and sent her on her merry way to school. At 3pm, when I picked up eldest child, she looked very sad. The teacher informed me that at the end of the day she suddenly felt very bad, and when they took her temperature it was 102. As I led eldest child to the car, she looked at me, quite pathetically and noted, "You told me not to complain!"
In addition to this act, please consider the following acts as support of me warranting the MOTY award:
1. Forgetting to send snacks with Boo when I signed up for them.
2. Not turning in the money for the tickets to play, forgoing any chance Sister had to have her family watch her theatrical debut.
3. Sending Sister in regular clothes when it was wacky, zany outfit day.
4. Forgetting to send Sister with a show and tell object, forcing her to use some useless junk at the bottom of her bag as a prized possession.
5. Frequently forgetting to feed my kids afternoon snacks, to where they are ravenous at dinnertime.
6. Complete uncleanliness of my home.
7. General inability to get my shit together.
8. Letting my baby cry while writing this letter.
5 hours ago