Last night while scrubbing Sister's dirty face (winner, winner - pizza dinner), I accidentally got the washcloth stuck on her loose tooth. I felt it and she felt it.
Sister: Ouch Mom, you bumped my tooth!
Me: (seeing the new hole in her mouth) What tooth?!?
We found said tooth in the tub, all washed clean, ready for presentation to the revered tooth fairy. Except that bitch didn't come. As I cleaned up Miss Bess this morning from her fourth night in a row peeing her bed, Sister came in the room.
Sister: My tooth is still in the box under my pillow!
Me: (lets out an audible gasp) Wow, I wonder what happened?
(you fell asleep watching Tropic Thunder you idiot and forgot to tell the hubby to put the dollar in when he took the kids for their midnight bathroom run, that's what happened.)
Sister: Maybe she got married last night, or got stuck in traffic.
Me: Yeah, married...perhaps, or maybe she just had so many teeth last night, she didn't get here yet.
Sister: I am writing her a letter.
Here is that letter, which she left under her pillow with a whole other piece of paper and a pencil.
That tooth fairy has some 'splainin to do!
22 hours ago